


Drink You Away

by darkandtwisty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Drabble, Drunk Dean, Drunk Dialing, Drunken Confessions, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied Sexual Content, Longing, Make-up, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Sexual References, Smut, Tumblr Prompt, Vulnerable Dean, break-up, possible happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6029518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkandtwisty/pseuds/darkandtwisty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader gets an unexpected call from Dean in the middle of the night, and he has a confession to make.</p><p>#5 "I want you." & #11 "Call me when you're sober." with Dean off my drabble prompt list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drink You Away

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally supposed to be a very short drabble for a request I got on my drabble prompts, but I got a little carried away (oops), so I’m just posting it as a one-shot.

 

Another day, another hunt, another dingy motel that made you miss the bunker even more. You collapsed on the bed, and let exhaustion take over, sleep consuming you.

 

Your eyes flew open. The sound startled you; your cell phone ringing, the screen light illuminating your bed and the surrounding area.

A glance at the flickering digital clock next to you, bright and glowing red; _2:53am_

“What the hell?” You grumbled, reaching a hand over and fumbling across the bedside table for your phone. Whoever was calling you, better have a damn good reason for disrupting the first few hours of sleep you  
had gotten in days.

_Dean._

The name flashed across your screen. You were shocked to say the least. You hesitated before swiping your finger across the screen.

“Hello?” You asked hesitantly.

“Hey Y/N.” The husky voice drawled through the phone.

“Dean? Is everything okay?”

“You see, I have a problem.” He answered, voice slurring slightly at the end.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting upright in bed. You were immediately consumed with worry. He had probably gone out and gotten himself into some kind of trouble, in true Dean Winchester fashion.

“I really wanted to hear your voice saying my name baby.”

Your heart fluttered, it had been so long since you heard him say anything to you, let alone call you baby. Just as quickly as the feeling came, it passed; replaced by a wave of hurt. You couldn’t go down this road again, it had taken you so long to get the sound of his voice out of your head, and all this was going to do was cause you more pain.

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, yawning, “Have you been drinking?”

“I had a few drinks.” He says, nonchalantly.

“Sounds like more than a few Dean.”

He hummed, “Mmm, there it is. Always sound so good saying my name.”

Had this been any other time, his voice, saying things like that to you, would’ve made you weak in the knees.

“It’s 3am Dean, what do you need?

“You.” His voice was low, dropping a few octaves.

“Where are you?” You sighed.

“Bunker.”

A bit of relief settled in your stomach that he wasn’t out somewhere stumbling around, or passed out on a bar stool.

“Go to sleep Dean, you’re gonna feel like shit in the morning.” You let out a short, breathy laugh, finger going to press the end button. The longer this went on, the harder it was going to be to forget it in the morning.

“Wait! That’s uh- that’s not why I called.” His voice yelled, and you reluctantly brought the phone back to your ear.

“Okay,” You trailed off, waiting for him to continue.

“I wanted to ask you- if you still love me.” The way he spoke was hesitant; vulnerable almost.

Now that, that broke your heart. His voice sounded so hopeless, almost like he was sure of what your answer was going to be.

“Dean, yes- of course I love you.” You breathed, head dropping back to the pillow behind you. The thought of him thinking otherwise, made you want to cry.

“I wanna see you.”

“You and I both know that is not a good idea. We said we wouldn’t do this.”

You wanted to see him more than anything. You missed him; craved the feeling of him. Whether it was the weight of his arm draped over your shoulders while you lounged on his bed, or when you would press up against his side, his hand splayed across your thigh; your head resting on his shoulder, while he sped down the highway, nothing and no one for miles. Even falling asleep with your forehead resting in between his shoulder blades, wrapped yourself around him from behind, which Dean had always said made him feel protected.

“Hey, I didn’t promise anything.” He grumbled, and you could hear the sound of clinking glass in the background.

“Wouldn’t matter if you did, you aren’t very good at keeping them anyway.” A quiet, bitter laugh fell from your lips before you could stop it.

That might have been a little uncalled for, but it was true. You had spent the last few weeks in a grimy motel room, trying to focus on nothing except for hunting. But on nights when you just couldn’t push your failed relationship out of your head, you curled up with a bottle of whiskey and a box tissues. All because Dean didn’t want your safety compromised because of him.

“That’s-” He started, but you cut him off.

“Dean, please, it’s the middle of the night, I really don’t wanna do this.”

“I miss you.”

He huffed out a breath, “I miss you too.” You didn’t even try to deny it. You had spent so much time attempting to convince yourself that you would be fine without him, but you aren’t fine without him. If you had it your way you would be curled up in Dean’s bed right now, his body slotted against yours.

“Come home. I want you home.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Maybe, but hey, you know what they say babe, drunk words are sober thoughts.” You can practically hear the smirk that he must have been wearing.

“Yeah, I don’t know if I quite believe that. You seemed to be pretty damn sure of yourself when you ended things.”

“You know why I did that, Y/N. We were always so ready to jump in front of a damn bullet for each other. Couldn’t let ‘nything happen to you.” You could hear him take another swig from whatever he was drinking.

“So, why are you calling me now?”

“Because it’s not worth it.”

“What’s not worth it?” You asked.

“This- This life. Not if I don’t get to do it with you. I don’t want to do it without you. I won’t. I need you, want you, and I hope you still want me too.” He paused before whispering, “I love you.” His voice cracked ever so slightly and you just wanted to run to him.

No matter what happened between you two, no matter how angry you were, you would never let him doubt your feelings for him.

“Of course I do Dean, you know that, but how do I know you’re not gonna change your mind in the morning? When half a bottle of Jack isn’t clouding your judgment. I’m not saying goodbye to you again.”

Leaving was the hardest thing you ever had to do, there was no way you would be able to do that again.

“I won’t, and no, I’m never saying goodbye to you again baby.”

“You don’t kn-”

He interrupted before you had a chance to protest, “Okay well what if, come morning, I still feel the same?”

“Then, we’ll have a lot to talk about.”

“Okay.”

“Call me when you’re sober, Dean.”

“Oh, I will sweetheart.”


	2. This Hell That Holds Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader deals with the aftermath of Dean not calling.

It had been four weeks since your phone call with Dean, and one week since he last tried to call you. After the initial late night, drunken phone call, he never called the next morning. He did however call a 2 weeks later, but you didn’t answer. You had even received a few calls from Sam and you felt terrible every time you clicked decline. There was a time when Sam was your best friend. You missed him dearly and wished there was some way to keep that friendship even with your relationship with the elder Winchester having ended. Those two boys were a package deal and you had to stay as far away from them as possible, per Dean’s original request. You were sure Cas would’ve paid you a visit, had he been able to, but with the branding he had placed on your ribs years back, you were sure it was proving to be difficult for the angel. 

You would be lying if you said that the next day didn’t hurt like a bitch. You had woken up and checked your phone immediately, your heart sank when you looked at the clock, realizing it was mid-afternoon and still no call. You glanced at your phone throughout the day, waiting for that guitar riff ringtone to blare through your hotel room, but it never came. Dean truly hadn’t meant what he said that night, and damn did it twist the knife even deeper. As much as you tried to convince yourself that you knew he wouldn’t call, you couldn’t deny that there was a small part of you that was hoping maybe, just maybe, this once Dean would be a man of his word. But no, even if Dean had meant everything he said, there was no way he would’ve called you, he probably woke up in the morning and remembered why he told you to leave in the first place. You hated yourself for even entertaining the thought of him calling you that next day, because all it did was hurt even more, just like you knew it would when you first picked up that phone. It was like a fire poker, red, hot and burning in your chest. It was unbearable, but you didn’t have a choice. You just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

_–flashback–_

_Dean groaned, and pulled the white cotton sheet up to his neck. “C'mon, I don’t wanna get out of bed yet. Can’t we just stay here all day and forget about all the creepy crawlies?” He closed his eyes and buried his face into your neck, slinging an arm over your waist._

_A giggle fell past your lips and you sighed into his messy hair, “As much as I would love that, Dean, there are people out there who need us to save their sorry asses from the creepy crawlies.”_

_Dean didn’t say anything, just tightened his grip on you and began leaving little open-mouthed kisses across your clavicle. “We could have so much fun though, I could do that thing with my hands that you love, and that thing with my tongue that drives you crazy.” His muffled, raspy voice that was thick with sleep, against your skin made you shiver._

_You almost got lost in the feel of him and gave in because, damn that boy is hard to resist. Just as his hand slipped under the edge of your panties, your eyes shot open and you reluctantly struggled to push him off of you. “Dammit, Dean. Don’t do this to me now! Sam is counting on us, and before you give me shit about, ‘Who cares about Sam, blah blah blah’, we cannot stay in bed all day and that is final.” You whined, sitting up and clutching the sheet to your chest._

_Dean grumbled and groaned behind you while you laughed at him. He was always so cute when he was grumpy, but you would never tell him that. He was cocky enough as is._

_There was a case Sam had found last night. Six different victims found with their inside liquefied; definitely your kind of thing. It was only one state over and you had all agreed that you would head out today. All was fine except Dean decided to get a little handsy last night which resulted in you both being up until 4am. Which, you had to admit wasn’t entirely his fault. It was you who had suggested that you have a competition to see who could get the other to come the most. Although, once you got Dean going, he was insatiable. Let’s just say that Dean won._

_“How am I supposed to get out of bed after last night?”_

_“Hey, if anyone is gonna have trouble getting out of bed, it’s me. I’m gonna kick your ass if I have trouble walking.”_

_Dean smirked and raised his eyebrows, “You weren’t complaining last night when you were begging me to-,”_

_“Shut up!” You cut him off, laughing and trying to cover the blush that was working its way up your neck. You reached back and carded a hand through his hair, smiling at him._

_Dean’s eyes slid shut in contentment and he breathed out a sigh. “Just gotta put one foot in front of the other, baby.”_

_Dean nodded and sat up, swinging his feet off the side of the bed and reaching for his shirt that was laying on the floor; slipping it over his head. You followed and climbed out of bed, goosebumps littering your skin when the ice-cold floor hit your feet. You motioned at your bra, which was now hanging from the lampshade next to Dean’s side of the bed._

_Your boyfriend took it between his fingers, letting it hang for a minute while he gave you a cocky grin, before throwing it to you. It was little things like that, that made you fall for him a little harder everyday. He never fails to make you laugh. You rolled your eyes and tried not to laugh as you both continued dressing in your clothes from last night._

_Dean laughed, wholeheartedly, “I love when you kick my ass into shape, baby. It’s hot.”_

_You shook your head, laughing at your boyfriend, “You’re such an idiot.”_

_“But I’m your idiot.”_

_Damn him and his stupid, beautiful face. “Forever.” You agreed, grinning at him._

_“Always.” He whispered, more to himself than you._

_Dean was never good with feelings, but sometimes, with you, he let himself open up a little more. He wouldn’t be Dean if he wasn’t guarded, he wouldn’t be your Dean. You never needed the lovey-dovey stuff from him. You knew how he felt about you, you could see it in his eyes, and feel it in his hands when he touched you; that’s all you needed._

_You stood behind Dean and wrapped your arms around his torso, “Hey, you know one good thing did come out of us getting out of bed.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_“Since we’re strapped for time now, we get to shower together.” You whispered against his ear._

_Dean chuckled darkly, turning his head towards you, “I’ll race you there, pretty girl.”_

_You giggled and took off running, Dean chasing behind you._

_–end flashback–_

You shook your head, shaking the memory from your mind. “Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, Y/N.” You whispered to yourself as you grabbed your bag and keys and headed for the door of your motel room.

You had a hunt to focus on. A whole bunch of crazy shit started happening in the past couple of weeks. All sorts of big bads and new nasties were out causing mayhem. You had followed a lead here to Colorado for what you think is a vamp case. With all these new, strange cases arising, you were trying to figure out if they were all connected somehow. A few weeks ago there were a bunch of people just killing each other in one town. Just yesterday you heard something about someone in a bunny mask offing people over in Minnesota; that was definitely a new one, but didn’t quite sound like your kind of thing. Needless to say, you sure had your fair share of research to do. So, that’s what you were going to do; focus on the case.

——

Your lead turned out to be a bust, no vamp case, just your average wacko who got a little too creative. So, you headed to the bar down the street from your hotel. You had a drink in hopes it would clear your mind of all that had happened over the past month, with no luck. All the alcohol did was make you feel shittier.  
So here you were, aimlessly scrolling through newspaper articles on your computer, hoping that there would be some kind of case; anything, a vampire, werewolf, hell- a freaking djinn would be nice. You just wanted some ass to kick, some monster to gank. You wanted to get your hands dirty and feel like your bad-ass self again. Dean always said that was one of the many reasons he fell in love with you. That he first fell in love with the way you moved when you had a knife in your hand and some fugly creature in front of you. That there was something about the way you held your silver revolver, that made him fall for you a little harder. The thought made you smile despite yourself.

As much as you tried to get the thought through your head and accept it, the thought of never seeing Dean again, was something you just couldn’t wrap your head around. Dean had been the one constant in your life since you were a teenager; long before anything happened between you two. You grew up with those boys. You were there when Sam left for Stanford, when John died, for the apocalypse, when you lost Bobby, you were there for it all. Not having him around you anymore, it was unbearable, you felt lost, much as you hated to admit to yourself. You try not to dwell on it. It’s harder to think about the good memories than the bad, because all you find yourself thinking is god how did we end up here?

You never would have left, not at your own accord at least. You understood where Dean was coming from, you understood his fear, but the difference between you and him was that you were willing to take the risk. You could handle whatever shit life wanted to throw your way, as long as you were doing it with Dean. In true Winchester fashion, he thought you being around him was just too dangerous, and it probably was but you didn’t care. You knew in the months leading up to the day that you left, that the fear was building in him, you just never thought when it came to fruition that it would play out the way that it did.

_–flashback–_

_The slam of the bunker door echoed throughout the library, rattling the metal stairs. You flinched at the sound and closed your eyes. He was angry, really angry and you felt a fight coming. You had already made your way down the stairs and were now sitting at one of the tables in the library._

_“What in the hell were you thinking, Y/N?”_

_“Dean, I don’t want to talk about this tonight, okay? Let’s just-,”_

_“No, we are talking about this now.” He growled, slamming a hand down on the table._

_You only sighed, avoiding his gaze._

_“Look at me.” You reluctantly raised your head to meet his green eyes, now filled with pure anger. “You could’ve died tonight.”_

_“Could’ve, Dean. Key word. I’m fine.” You were really trying to keep your cool, you barely had the energy to fight with him tonight after everything that happened today._

_“You jumped in front of a werewolf. It could’ve killed you!” Dean’s voice was slowly getting louder and louder._

_You rose from your seat, leaning across the table on your hands, “If I hadn’t, it would’ve killed you!”_

_“That is not the point-,”_

_Now it was your turn to yell, “It is the point! You do the same thing, you goddamn hypocrite! You are always so ready to jump in front of a bullet for Sam and I! It’s okay for you to be all heroic and self-sacrificing, but god forbid anyone try and protect you for once!”_

_“It’s different, Y/N!”_

_“No, it’s not, you stubborn ass! How, how is it any different?”_

_“Because I’m not worth saving!” He bellowed, practically shaking with anger. He turned his head away from you._

_As soon as the words left his mouth, any and all anger left your body. Now, you just felt heartbroken. There was nothing that killed you more than knowing how much Dean hated himself, it killed you. You loved him so much and saw nothing but good in him, you just wish he could see it too._

_You took a deep breath, voice returning to its normal volume, “Dean Winchester, I will never understand that no matter what you do, you can never seen how much good is inside you. There is so much good in you, Dean. I never want to hear you say that again, and you will never, ever hear me say that you are anything other than good. You’re a good man, Dean. You hear me? A good man that I fell in love with. You can’t ask me to stand by and let someone hurt you. That is never going to happen. I’m always going to do whatever I can to protect you, just like you would do for me, just like you would do for Sam. I’m not anymore worth saving than you are. You are just going to have to deal with it, just like I have to deal with you doing the exact same thing.”_

_That was the first time you had ever told him you loved him. You knew, he knew, Sam and Cas knew, hell- even Crowley knew, but it was just something that you and Dean had never said out loud. You both felt it, but it was hard for both of you to say, because once you say it, it’s real and the opportunity for loss it so much greater. But tonight, Dean need to hear it, and you needed to say it._

_“No.” He said, voice barely a whisper, “No. I won’t let anything happen to you, Y/N. I won’t let you die because of me.”_

_“That’s not up to you, Dean.”_

_“It is now. You should go.” No, no, no, no._

_“No, Dean you don’t just get to-,”_

_“This is me walking away before I have to watch you die at my expense.”_

_“Dammit Dean-,”_

_“I said go, Y/N! Don’t make me say it again.” He had never yelled at you like that before. You didn’t think you’d ever get that sound out of your head. The pain in his voice was evident yet he looked so emotionless; so numb._

_–end flashback–_

You shook the memory away, everything after that was just too painful to think about. You remember driving away from the bunker that night and having to pull over when your tears blurred your vision to the point where you couldn’t see the road. You waited and waited to hit the point where the pain was too much to bear and you just felt numb, but it never came, you still felt it all; every single thing.

A heavy knock interrupted your thoughts and your head snapped towards the door. Great, you thought, who the fuck would be coming to your door at this hour? There had been a few demons trailing you over the past week or so, but you were used to it. Being Dean Winchester’s ex-girlfriend made you kind a giant blinking target, especially for demons who wanted to find a way to get close to him. It had happened a few times since the two of you parted ways but you always took care of it. The bitter and angry part of you just wished something would take you, just to prove to Dean that whether you’re together or not, the danger is never going to go away.

You slowly moved from your place on the bed and made your way over to the small table next to the TV. You slipped a hand into your duffel and pulled your revolver out, holding it up and pointing it towards the door, in case there was something not so friendly on the other side.

Your hand closed around the knob and quickly yanked it open, only to be met with a pair of green eyes that had haunted you every second for the past few months. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, and for a second you couldn’t even fathom the thought of formulating a proper sentence, let alone a word.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and furrowed your brows, “Dean…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> deanscherrypie.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> I am still currently accepting requests off my drabble prompt list for Sam and Dean, so head over to my tumblr and send me a number or two off my prompt list, and the character you want and I will write it!
> 
>  
> 
> http://deanscherrypie.tumblr.com/post/139322808674/drabble-prompts-1


End file.
